Understanding the Human Instinct to Judge Based on Appearance

Let's be real, people will notice how you look long before they notice what you say. In the factual world, too much of the first impression is based on how we look, long before we have a chance to put our character and thinking on display. It may not be fair, but that is just human nature.

We inherently notice visual details about people, specifically what they wear, how they physically present themselves to us, and the energy they bring to our interaction. Whether we want to admit it or not, the truth is that judgments are made quickly.

But here’s where it gets complicated: Is it wrong to make an assumption when judging others based on appearance? Of course, it is easy to say, "Don't judge a book by the cover!" While it may seem reasonable to assume and say so, the truth is that we all judge others based on their appearance, a process known as survival and efficiency.

What steps should we consider taking before allowing an individual to be considered a friend? How else do we know who we want to be in our space, mixing with your energy, and life? In this sense, making judgments about the people around us is part of our operating system in a social world. You can use this tool to filter out individuals based on a common denominator of trustworthiness and friendliness.

But really? You cannot judge or limit an individual. Being impressionistic is one thing, but it doesn't allow you to show who they are. You can recognize an individual without boxing them into assumptions based on stereotypes or your preconceived notions.

Ultimately, while appearance may allow someone to enter the front door, it is your character that people will need to make room for in their perception. If you give it time, the public will see your knowledge, integrity, and emotional intelligence.

In summary, yes—people will judge you on first impression based on how you look. That’s just the fact. After that first impression, what matters is how you present yourself and what energy you bring into the room.

Your looks get you in the door, but your character, how you treat others, how you carry yourself, and how you respect people determine whether people want you to be part of their lives. If your goal is to create relationships, know that it’s not just about being seen; it’s about being remembered for all the right reasons, and that will always go well beyond the exterior.