The Cost of Constant Forgiveness

This is a reality that many of us are reluctant to accept: the more chances you give, the more you will continue to be insulted. In your social life and/or your work life, people tend to misinterpret kindness as weakness. Suppose you continuously allow someone to cross your boundaries even after you’ve clarified how important those boundaries are to you. In that case, you aren’t just giving them more chances but enabling them to offend you.

Boundaries are created to keep us safe, not to determine how far someone can push us or how long we can tolerate them. This is when we need to speak up at the first point of encounter. Make sure they know where you stand. If they continue to disrespect you after you’ve warned them, it is no longer your responsibility to continue teaching them how to treat you; you have the responsibility to leave.

When you continuously extend chances to someone, that does not equate to loyalty or kindness; it is simply placing yourself in a position for someone to insult you more and more. If you don’t honor your boundaries, you allow someone to disrespect your peace, self-respect, space, and energy. Negative people will suck the energy right out of you if you allow it. Whether in your space, on your phone, or even on social media, if seeing someone has become a source of stress, drama, or bad energy, then it is in your best interest to distance yourself.

Negativity is the enemy of productivity.

You cannot be your best self, focus on your aspirations or goals, or grow if you surround yourself with people who bring you down or crash through your boundaries like they don’t exist. Protecting your peace is not rude; it’s essential.

I encourage you to stop keeping people in your life because you’ve been through something together or feel sorry for them. You do not owe them access if someone repeatedly disrespects your space, time, energy, or boundaries.

Disassociation is not a form of hate; it is a form of healing.

You owe it to yourself not to tolerate things and people that impede your personal and professional growth.

You should never allow friends or even family to violate your personal space. When you accept boundary violations, you tell people that disrespecting you is acceptable. Boundaries are not about being toxic; boundaries are about respecting your peace and protecting your energy. If you do not respect your boundaries, others will not respect them either. If someone violates you, speak up, and do not be worried about putting distance between you and someone who repeatedly violates your boundaries. That is self-respect, not being selfish.